For several years, I’ve had the pleasure of receiving a special kind of candy from friends who’ve traveled to Japan called “Hi-Chew” (thanks Colin, Dave, & Yame). After these people stopped going back to Japan, I thought my relationship with this candy was gone forever. Recently, I discovered them in the international candy aisle at Wegmans, score. $0.99 snags you a 10-piece wrapper that looks similar to a pack of Bubblicious, double score. Strawberry is the only flavor I’ve ever had from the Japanese packaging, but my last trip to Wegmans yielded a pack of Mango. Although it exhibited all the qualities I love about a Hi-Chew (very chewy texture, strong flavor, longevity of consumption), I prefer the Strawberry.

The pack of Mango got my Melon thinking, so today I decided to check Google for an official Hi-Chew website to find other flavors not available in Wegmans. Besides discovering 4 additional flavors (Green Apple, Grape, Melon, Orange), I also found some translated tag lines. I really want to try Green Apple!?

We’re doomed. It’s only a matter of time before they’re cutting our heads off.

And up-end tables all day in anger, semi-virtually: