*Updated with working video, I don’t know why that youtube one all of a sudden broke.

Or, how Crossfire was just as much a joke in 1986 as it was in 2004.

Or, John Lofton is a jackass.

So here I was, enjoying a nice autumn Saturday, waiting for some college football to start, and I decided to catch up on some New Yorker articles.  Scanning the table of contents of the Oct. 19th issue, I see Malcolm Gladwell.  “This should be intersting,” I think to myself.

The title was “Offensive Play,” but it’s the subtitle that really gives the summary of this article: “How different are dogfighting and football?”

My initial reaction was filled with anti-elitism.  Here is Malcolm Gladwell, a skinny, nerdy, Canadian-with-British-parents, former runner comparing grown men to dogs, and dismissing an extremely popular sport as morally repugnant.

After reading the article, I still have a fundamental issue with the extent to which this comparison is made, but I left it with a serious bad feeling about football.

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A fellow Juicer, Graham Candy, has recently brought to my attention a pumpkin he has carved. He wanted to share it with Juice, so without further adieu, I give you Kimbo “The Pumkpin” Slice:

Thanks Graham & Jing.

Good song. Popping beat. Great for Office fans.

Warning: This is the third part of a three part web minisode series. Other episodes can be found here:

• The Office: Subtle Sexuality [Episode 1]
• The Office: Subtle Sexuality [Episode 2]

I just found some notes that I took while on the Mayercraft of the events of the day. Here is a snippet.

• Get bumped out by John Mayer
• Go to bar (maybe?)
• Find Joe
• Take shot
• Puke at bar
• Wash hands (Adam pukes maybe?)
• Go outside
• Eat pizza covered in oregano with Kyle and Adam and Chad?
• Hang out with two girls (not attractive)
• Somehow make it home
• Puke more

Juicers: Where too much is always just right.

When you hear theoretical physicists talk about an infinite universe, or the concept of a multiverse, they always consider the possibility of worlds which are strikingly similar to ours but which vary in a single or very few details.  Maybe on this Earth you wear your favourite pair of green socks with the orange heels and toes every Thursay, but on some other planet an individual exactly like you wears an identical pair of socks — right down to the rapidly thinning patch on the bottom of the big toe — except this individual wears those socks every Wednesday.  Or whatever.

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Cinnamon Chasers – Luv Deluxe (Official Music Video) from Saman Keshavarz on Vimeo.

A new show coming from ABC. It looks like it will have all the same qualities of “Flash Forward” and “Lost” which means most people are going to bitch about it but I will continue to watch it out of guilty pleasure.

Give it a watch.

A few months ago I was back in Boston chatting with some old republican friends. We talked business and politics. Where the two topics met, they mentioned “You may be a blue liberal now, but when your business takes off you will be on our side.”

If you are a democrat when you are poor and a republican when you are rich, you don’t actually stand for anything but yourself.

I can’t get over how corny this is and how many times it was used in the show. This made me laugh for no good reason, but I’m glad it did.

Somebody did a study to see how people search (google) for this phrase. The results are hilarious.

Firstly, I don’t have cable and I think Hulu is the greatest thing ever–though, if you haven’t heard, its glory days are numbered. Kindof a huge bummer. You can thank Newscorp for that one. Not sure what my plans are for the future.

Anyways, I have a few shows on regular rotation. Here’s what I’ve been watching.

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Pardon the language, but I just wanted to share the first two paragraphs from this hilarious diatribe @ McSweeneys by Colin Nissan regarding our current season:

I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I’m about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it’s gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is—fucking fall. There’s a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash.

I may even throw some multi-colored leaves into the mix, all haphazard like a crisp October breeze just blew through and fucked that shit up. Then I’m going to get to work on making a beautiful fucking gourd necklace for myself. People are going to be like, “Aren’t those gourds straining your neck?” And I’m just going to thread another gourd onto my necklace without breaking their gaze and quietly reply, “It’s fall, fuckfaces. You’re either ready to reap this freaky-assed harvest or you’re not.”

Go read the rest (as well as this fantastic series on the life of a post-bedbug fighter), it’s worth it.

My dad was briefly mentioned in this article from Boston.com and I just wanted to share it with you.

Parrelli, who runs winter track and plays club soccer in the spring, credits an experience off the field with helping to build his confidence on the pitch …

Sorry for the onslaught of videos, but this one made me laugh.

“Godamnit-!”

Must be watched with audio

h/t Evan

Really funny

Kid Tests New Taser On Himself – Watch more Funny Videos