So I think I will start a little something known as the Juice The Blog Juice Review wherein juice will be reviewed.

Today’s juice for review is Five Alive:

Five Alive used to be a favorite drink of mine as a child.  You’d buy it in the frozen cans and when it was time to whip up a batch, you’d get to watch the slimy frozen cylinder slide out of the canister and drop into your pitcher with a mouth watering plop.  Then you’d mix in your water and you’d have the perfect blend of citris flavors.  How many citrus flavors?  You never had to ask!

Now this is my first juice review so I’m going to take some time laying out the structure of these things.  I will rate juices on a series of criteria that I choose and may not be consistent from juice to juice.  Why?  Because I am the most respected juice critic on the internet and thats what I choose to do.  I will also go into some history, maybe some science, and maybe some case studies on what the trendy kids are drinking these days…  Let’s begin.

Five Alive is a juice drink blending 5 citrus flavors:  orange, lemon, grapefruit, tangerine and lime.  It’s orange-ish white in color.  Five Alive actually only contains 42% juice and 22% sugar, with high fructose corn syrup being the first listed ingredient after water (sorry brian).  It is available in 64oz. cartons as well as the frozen cans, but only half-assed wannabe bitches drink them.

The review:

Taste:       6.375/10

This drink has a unique citrus flavor, and is very refreshing when cold.  However, I find it a little too sweet, and the citrus can become over powering during multiple-cup consumption.

Healthiness:    3/10

Not particularly healthy, but if I’m having Five Alive, I’m not trying to be healthy, I’m probably getting   ready to go out and talk to hot chicks.

Trendy-coolness   10/10

And this is where Five Alive really shines.  If you are in a super market and you see a good looking indy chick decking out her cart with dunkaroos and fruit by the foot, and she sees you loading some Fiva’ on your cart– atleast making out.

How much writing this review has made me want the juice im reviewing or whatever   10/10

Nuff said.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 17th, 2008 at 6:56 pm and is filed under No Pulp. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.